On the one hand, I’m grieving. On the other, I’m in a good season.
When I’m with other moms and the topic shifts to pregnancy, I want to join in, because been there. But especially if there’s a pregnant woman in on the conversation, it’s also a reminder that I am not currently pregnant. The conversations I want to enjoy and the people I want to be happy for have become bitter reminders. It’s hard. But I know I’m not alone.
I’m choosing to appreciate the good in this season. I love my family, even with its missing pieces. My heart is broken and full all at once. I’m loving the parts of this moment in time there are to love, because if I don’t I know I will look back and wish I did. We have no idea what joy or heartache the future holds. The choice is mine–I choose joy.
On the one hand, I want to rush through this season and run away. On the other, there is so much here for me.